Tuesday, March 2, 2010

New Vocab, Yo!

Last night as this dude let his eyes linger on my supple bod, I came up with a new term.
Dick Poetry.
You see, guys can look at you like they wanna fuck you long n’ hard. Dirty, even. Some wanna kiss you tenderly as they slide you into suit made of Playtex, and afterwards place a ball-gag in your mouth. Others want to smack it up, flip it, rub it down-OHHHHHHHH NOOOOOO!
Guys who wanna give you the dick poetry are different though. When done right, a dude can be a Talented Seducer. 9 times out of 10 though, he is just a dick poet.
A dick poet is a dude who wants to make love to you, but first he wants to woo you…because he cares.
A dick poet will, depending on his upbringing and standing in life, woo you within an inch of his life.

If he’s your Bohemian Dick Poet, he’ll incorporate an organic cotton throw. Jack Johnson will be the background music. You’ll drink honey wine as he reads you poems he’s written on a scroll.

The Urban Dick Poet will have Robin Thicke or J.Holiday as background music. He’ll recite sonnets on a comforter (synthetic filled, down-filled if he's really serious with the woo) covered in silk rose petals as you tenderly sip Alize`.

The Bro-Dick Poet (he wears Dockers and says Bro a lot); he pulls out the boxed wine and Dave Matthews Band CDs. You’re in the back of his SUV and he is reciting Limmerdicks (B came up with that one- instead of Limericks) because he is serious with the woo, but has to maintain his Bro-like sense of humor.

I knew the dude last night was some sort of dick poet because of the look in his eyes. He was squinting them slightly, moistening his lips and tried to maintain eye contact (with me) after gingerly grazing my bod visually-remember the dick poet is respectful!
I sighed and turned to B: That dude wants to slay me with his dick poetry, yo.
She agreed and a new term was christened!

Go ahead, tell your friends!!

OHHH and I HAD to put a pic of Walter Mercado up because he is my favorite-and somehow came up in conversation. He doesn't relate to dick poetry....but he IS an astrologer, perhaps he'll see a dick poet in your 9th house in Jupiter with a rising Capricorn or something.


  1. Dick poets also tend to be up for composition at any hour of day - this morning at the heady hour of 6am as I sauntered my lazy ass to the train - a certain dick poet in flannel managed to doff his cap - LITERALLY in my direction. That equals pure dick poetry.

  2. YES! that was probably dick poetry at its finest!