Thursday, July 8, 2010

Add To The List/D.P.- Do It!

One of the main reasons I write is to balance out the insanity of my REAL life with some fiction. When it comes to my lust/love follies in particular, the insanity levels skyrocket.
Besides my lust/love life being mostly nonexistent due to: my standoffish ass, my living in my head ass, dudes being wack to my ass, etc.
It is not only hard out there for a pimp; it is EXTREMELY hard for a cautious romantic. Just think about being a cautious romantic for a second, think about how difficult that might be, and while you’re thinking about it you’re getting paper cuts in that tender meat between your fingers.
Such is my lust/love life.
I don’t dwell though. As I mentioned before I am trying to whole assedly do the online dating thing. Just finished my profile, and have gotten some interest. Will see just how creepy these dudes are- SEE, there I go, add cynical to the list now. *le sigh*
One would think I was moving in the right direction with me receiving my first dicpic!!! (dicpic= dick pic aka a picture sent to you usually via email of male genitalia). Many were shocked that this was my first dicpic because I am so seemingly sexy and am online, but I’ve never received straight dick in the mail before…till recently. Picture me shocked when owner of the dick said he ‘wanted me and wanted in’. I know the owner of the well proportioned wang, and am physically attracted.
Three cheers for me.
Actually, my peeps wanted me to write a blog titled: Dick Pics and Decorum, but I’ve only experienced this one time (said like Wyclef) so I really wouldn’t have much to write about. I mean I get that with these types of things- like oral sex- things have to be reciprocated. I am far too old and less na├»ve to take a clitpic though- that train has long past my friend. I tried going the gracious route, and was truly being sincere with it. What can I say, cocks excite me.
…but this is ME remember. These are my follies- which would really fill a novel- and so it goes, senor uno dicpic has proven to be all.talk.
So, I go about my merry way. Merry because I hope that my initial dicpic will open the floodgates of dudes who are anxious to show me what they’re working with. Preferably dudes I am attracted to. Mostly dudes I know and may have/or had crushes(ed) on. Can’t promise you a clitpic, but your man meat will be GREATLY appreciated.
Just think about me on those cold lonely nights I decided to shun potential love interests because of a mood swing…think of me snuggled up close to my iTouch with your shaft full screen! How romantic?! Then think about me…I don’t know…getting a lift home from a friend who I may have had a crush on who I was building up the courage to just kiss when he decides to talk non-stop about his ‘ex’- I put quotes because it sounded like an ongoing love affair- think about my ego being shot, then notice the slight twinkle in my almond shaped brown eyes when I remember that I have your well lit dicpic all ready for viewing on my iTouch. Think about how while that dude is going on about his ex (wah wah wah) I am looking at your luscious wang. Think about how your luscious wang will get me through the tough moments.
Wow, this blog went in a whole other direction! May have to change the title to: Send Me Your Meat!
Not so deep down, I know I am going to regret this.

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