Monday, July 26, 2010

Conversations with Ice: Je Suis Contente

Remember how every now and then I get together with Ice T in my mind and we have some rather poignant conversations. Well, here's another one.

Ice and I are chillin’ on his rooftop playing a game of Chinese checkers AKA Majong. He has made us mojitos and I brought some Popeyes biscuits- we are doing some pleasant snacking. Ice notices that I am a lil too pleasant though…

Ice T:
What’s going on, Sweet T? You seem less hostile? You finally stop being a nerd and get a lil mary jane in your life…or you bone one of them cracka’s you always talking about?-Jake Gyllenfuck or something…

Me: Wow Ice! A girl is chill and it either has to be drugs or getting smashed out? Ice, I mean this in the most culinary way possible, but: eat a julienned bowl of dicks.

Ice T: Okay, okay… I deserved that. I’m just saying, it looks like your chi is centered- what gives? Why you holdin’ out on a homie?

Me: Ice, I never wanna hold out on a homie- I’m just okay. Had the day off-meaning I didn’t have to ride the subway…

Ice T: Uh huh. (takes a bite of his biscuit)….

Me: That and the weather has been pretty bearable-I know you cut off off the ponytail, but that ass hot heat does NOTHING for the hair and the sexy.

Ice T: Whatchu talking about? I am sexy in rain, sleet, humidity and snow. (Ice gives me a knowing look)

Me: This is true...I like that you're not in jail getting bench pressed by a dude named Big Cock.

Ice T: Them charges wouldn't stick-and Big Cock? You couldn't come up with any thing more clever....

Me:(Ice gives me another knowing look, and I sip my mojito) Ice, all I can say is that when one sac’s up, it can be a freeing experience.

Ice T: Yeah, I feel ya. Ain’t no future in a being a punk ass bitch.

Me: Damn right, Ice. No future at all.

The End.

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