Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Place Where I Work: One Taste

Sometimes it takes just one taste of insanity or loveliness to keep you away or keep you coming back.

Here’s an example of a taste of insanity:
B and I are the good kind of crazy- more funny at times, more crazy at others. We decided that John Mayer (a dude who looks like him) works at the Godiva near us in between his albums. Whenever we walk by, we say, “Hi John Mayer!”…but he can’t hear us through the glass. On a couple of occasions we have gone in to grab lil nibbles of chocolate to get us through the train ride home and John Mayer was never working.:(
Yesterday, we both had a day, so I treated us to some dark chocolate dipped macaroons. Proving that it was all meant to be, John Mayer was there singing along to this loudly playing music that really wanted to be Sinatra. It wasn’t Sinatra. It was Michael Buble`. I, ever so eloquently, state: fuck Michael Buble`. B looks disheartened and stops singing along because she hoped it was Sinatra. She agrees that Buble` sucks.
We also were excited about seeing John Mayer there-even if he was proudly singing along to Buble`. He was at the other side of the store when I said: fuck Michael Buble`.
Then this happened…

Godiva Minion: Ssshhhhhh…
Me: Oh…sorry, there are children around…
Godiva Minion: Oh no, fuck the children, it’s my manager. (points towards John Mayer) He loves Michael Buble`.
B: That’s unfortunate. (we give each other the ‘THIS IS AMAZING’ look)
Me: Well, I’m a paying customer…so I’m always right.
Godiva Minion: (chuckles) True, but he loves Michael Buble`.
Me: Fuck Michael Buble`. I hope someone kicks him in the throat so that I don’t have to hear him sing anymore.

[at this point John Mayer saunters over)

John Mayer: Wow. Who do you want to do that too? (B’s eyes go wide; the Godiva Minion throws our treats at the cashier and scuttles, shivering into a dark corner)
Me: I was told I shouldn’t say anything bad about him. (I slide over to the cashier) Actually, okay, I hate Michael Buble`.
John Mayer: How could hate Michael Buble`?? Why??
Me: Sometimes I don’t need a reason to hate, I just do.
B: …well, we thought this was Sinatra, and we LOVE Sinatra…but it’s not.
John Mayer: (snarls) Well nothing beats Sinatra! This is great music, I can’t listen to that Rihanna crap- (he locks the door-the only exit to Godiva. I kinda blackout thinking about how to escape this murder that’s about to happen. B practically has to take my card and pay because I couldn’t move)

B and I freak out and are mouthing that John Mayer is crazy…and how are we going to get out of there. Thankfully there were like 2 other customers so he left the keys in the door. The cashier hoped that God blessed B and I…and we made our escape. We pretty much ran to the train station.
John Mayer is CRAZY. Like eyes glazed over, has a warlock cloak and a subscription to Skin Stealers Weekly-CRAZY.
We got a taste and spat it out.

Now a taste of loveliness is the opposite end of the spectrum. Its like ice cream and biscuits. Tastes so good.
On New Years Eve I gave Drake a hug to say HAPPY NEW YEAR and to say peace out. It was the first time we hugged…and I also hugged other coworkers.
He got one taste of that hug and now he can’t stop, won’t stop…eh, eh…eh, eh. Drake wants to hug me all the time (seriously, he’s said this-look how far we’ve come) though he knows it’s not work appropriate. He sends me air hugs and kisses-jokingly, but there is longing in his eyes.
I got that good, good…mos def.


  1. ahahahaha... drake is hooked! turning the haters into lovers in twennyten. nice work, miks.

  2. it's all about the 'air traffic control'. mad direct, yo.