Monday, January 4, 2010

So far...

Resolutions broken: there were none made-so far, so good.

Liquid amount of champagne consumed in the span of 3 days: A Lot. I have never been good at math (or drinking champizzle). You know you’re living dangerously when you’re sipping a rose` champagne and eating an ultimate turkey sammich.

New Year addiction: red velvet cupcakes. Have always loved red velvet cake, but it’s like the cupcakes are calling to me…like I say the cock does.

The 2010 hair so far: its been pretty spectacular!!! I am blow drying and pin-curling. Shit is working like a charm!

Number of dudes I was a complete bitch to because I was distracted by hunger/impatience/champagne hangover: 3. Will try to be better in 2010-try.

Number of times ‘there’s enough for everyone’ was said during New Years weekend: countless times. Thanks to m’girl DoubleDeuce making me retell the story about the time I air traffic controlled to my crotch and said ‘there’s enough for everyone’. It’s the theme for 2010.

Number of songs written about New Years weekend: 1 and here it is…with an eloquent preface-

To pass the time or just cuz we’re jerks, B and I like to sing about life’s moments as if we were Regina Spektor or any of them other chicks that thinks its cool to play the piano and be quirky n’ heartfelt.
We mostly sing about riding the escalators and how comfortable pants are like kittens.

I’ve decided to sum up my New Years celebrations- though chill- with a piano and some lyrics.

Here we go.

(strong mid-tempo piano playing to showcase how deep I am and how much you’re going to enjoy telling everyone you love this song)

I’m not like her, I don’t party all the time (party all the time)
So I went to, the house of a friend of mine
I rode the train and I carried champagne
As the DJ, I played Mariah, Get Rich and Dyin’ 50 (what up gangsta)
And a lil Gwen Stefani (hey baby)
And I wrote this song
And I wrote this song…about the New Year

We never made it to the park, but we discussed Sparks
We didn’t watch the ball drop, we let the microwave be our clock
No kiss at midnight, only hugs for thugs, and mushes to the face
And we ate cake (oreo cake)
And we ate cheese (buffalo wing hot cheddar)
And I wrote this song,
And I wrote this song…about the New Year

I slept till 4 and didn’t unlock my door till Saturday
I brunched and on Sunday I brunched some more (honkodocious*)
Made no resolutions, only goals to fulfill
And I bought things at Target, and I kicked no children
Cheers to good will…
And I wrote this song,
And I wrote this …about the New Year.

*Honkodocious is a term I’ve stolen from JD because White peeps used to be the ONLY ONES about brunching, now er’body is.

Happy New Year!