Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Place Where I Work: Inglorious Basterds

It’s downright wintry in the city! All grey skies and chilled breezes. This all doesn’t help with me getting my tan on!-or at least working on this FINE moccasin tan I have going on. Yep, just when you thought I couldn’t get any sexier, I bust out with tan that makes it look like I have gout of the foot!!!
My ‘diseased’ foot almost got firmly placed in some dudes ass today. Dude was rude- and not a Rude Boy a la Riahnna. That is the ONLY song I like by that chick, just can’t help it. I think the video sends out subliminal messages or something.
Anyways, this guy was just rude; he was here with 2 other people for some sort of training for retail employees. This dude had the nerve to be pompous in an Abercrombie & Fitch hoodie!! Me and my Old Navy (pink plaid) button down smite thee!!- and by smite I mean try to close the elevator doors on him, but he was with someone and I had to play nice. So I just threw eye daggers the whole elevator ride down…so much so, he shifted away from me.

Today hasn’t totally gone to the schmucks though, the nerds have come through. Being a true nerd at heart, OF COURSE the entire IT department (and NO they’re not all Asian) and I are buddies. It all started with the dude I’ll call McFinnigan because he looks mad Irish yo. From the day dude saw me in the pantry he has been smitten. He comes by my desk. He talks about choking the male models- seriously he points to various pics hanging in the office offering different ways to harm them. Basically he’s a guy after my own heart if only he weren’t the height of my heart…meaning he is boob height on me. Too,too bad, but it’s enjoyable to hate on the girly male models because they truly are girly…and I HATE when men are prettier than me.
Then there’s Stiglitz (as in Hugo Stiglitz, the cool German from Inglorious Basterds). Stiglitz runs the whole IT department. He is spry, smells good, and is funny and very sweet. He also mentioned today that since I’ve been here he just likes coming upstairs (yeah, I sit upstairs, and he sits downstairs)…he said it with his cute German accent- and I’ve never found the German accent cute, but now I’m like: ohhhh Stiglitz (and play pretend I’m flirting)
Stiglitz is in the makings of becoming my office boo because you boost my ego…and/or feed me, and I am like putty in your hands.
…plus I don’t mind a lil schnitzel *wink wink*

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