Friday, June 4, 2010

The Place Where I Work: Cute Friday and Tales of Bitchery

Quiet Friday.
I’m not complaining though. There’s AC, cheap food and internet access. Am also getting paid.
Mr. Burns is in Connecticut probably checking in on the home there and GeekAnime is having a vacay day, that just leaves me and two other dudes- who I don’t have names for …yet. Mr. Darcy is good-yet I may have to shank a bitch. This chick that favors short dresses has been sniffing around him. Don’t think I have too much to worry about because she seems to just be laying it all out for Mr. Darcy while I play it cool and mysterious- this just means they’ll be banging it out and I will be cool…mysterious and not being banged out.
I think they like me-meaning the peeps at the company I work for, have been given access to the corporate account where I can get discounts on theatre tickets and movies. Also, no one has said: we hate you, please leave.
So, I’m thinking I am okay.

The day might end kind of poetic though because I am going for Happy Hour with thee old gang: LoBro, Blair, B, etc. LoBro said the last time she was at the place we are going to, a fight broke out between two Frat Rats- am thinking this means two frat dudes or two chicks that hang out with frat dudes. The thought of seeing guys with their Brooks Brothers shirts untucked poised for battle has got us all a lil excited. As long as no one steps on my toes, I’m good.
Have been using this quiet time wisely by writing and checking out the menu of the spot we’re going to.
I’m also having an inner debate about being called…cute. Sure it’s better than being called a homely bitch, but …dogs are cute. Babies are cute. That skirt at Anthropologie is cute…but me? I had three dudes roll up to me to tell me I was-one interrupted a conversation I was having to let me know that I was cute. There may have been a ‘very’ added to that one.
I am not sitting here ‘fishing’, I know I am attractive…just have a problem with being called cute. Perhaps I look young…and dudes wanna pinch my cheeks-just not my ass cheeks! I don’t dress like I am 12…so why not a ‘gorgeous’ or …a ‘face that breaks many hearts and busts many a zipper’???
I guess my thing with being called ‘cute’ started when I was a wee lass in junior high. There was this dude named Kirk. Kirk was HOT! Like athletic, had dimples and skin that was like a burnt sienna or as CeCe Peniston would describe- brown cocoa skin and curly black hair. Every girl knew who Kirk was. Pretty much all the girls had a thing for him. Now, even in my younger days, I never went for the dude EVERYONE wanted- not like I don’t mind a lil competition, just feel the dude has enough ‘cock riders’ and I don’t need to be added to the list. Alas, Kirk’s pull was strong. His aura must’ve smelled like fresh laundry or chocolate because I couldn’t resist! I was a lowly freshman though and Kirk was a senior- another trend, I always liked an older dude…till I hit 30, and was like: Eff it! They are all the same! Bringeth on the young sac!
Anyways, a great deal of my youth was spent dealing with bitchery-this is why no one can battle me verbally, I have spent so many years perfecting ‘the comeback’- chicks who saw my lack of style/youth/chubs/braces/glasses and were like: look at this wack bitch.
Then they would proceed with trying to play me in front of the HOTTEST dudes in school. Yes, this has happened more than once.
So, there I am all chubby and fashion-lacking walking down the hall minding my own business when I see Kirk with a bitch. My heart started beating fast and I let my mind etch his perfect face in my head. I imagined I was the girl he was walking with and we were discussing the latest episode of 21 Jumpstreet. Suddenly, Kirk and the bitch are standing in front of my. He smirked at me. The bitch did too, but hers was an evil smirk.

Bitch: What about her? Is she cute? (She was referring to me. Right there, in my face!)

Kirk: (Smiles, like a gift from heaven. He pinches my effin’ cheek) She’s cute.

The bitch got all disgruntled, and I was pissed. First, don’t effin’ touch me. Second, CUTE? He said it like I was a puppy. I wiped off my cheek and told him to never touch me…may have called them both assholes…and stomped off to the bathroom to wash my face some more. Ugh. Have been a slight germophobe from WAY back- anyways, that was condescending as hell too.
I guess that encounter left a sour taste at being called cute. Perhaps if I use some mental imagery of running into Kirk now and him aging like Steven Segal-meaning BADLY. Then I may begin to be alright with being called cute.

Happy Friday!!!

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