Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Story of We: Episode 7


I cannot seem to find Episode 6!!! From what I gather it was ACTION PACKED. Taylor met Andre 3000 while on retreat in LA and then thought she was preggers. Tyra cheats on Kurt with his Uncle Mickey (Rourke). Josephina opens up a Cupcake Bikini Bar called Ho Ho's....that Fifty Cent burns down because they BROKE.UP! WOAH!



The Story of We
Episode 7: They Said We Wouldn't Last.
Screenplay by Honey T
8/6/08


Setting: In NYC of course, the story takes place in a Starbucks, Hot Ho's Bikini Bar, Target, an open loft space, Taylor's apartment and Robert Downey Jr.'s hotel room. The story and characters tend to move all around the city...its boroughs and islands. The year is 2008 and the world is as it is. Reality is real.

Cast:
Taylor Greene
Britain Sawyer
Josephina Fergus
Lorna Long
Acorn Dillon
Featuring:
Kurt Sandleback
Efranzia Mogedeshu
Spearchuck Openhide
J.E'Ofinnigan Logan
Tyra Banks as herself
Fifty Cent as himself
Robert Downey Jr. as himself
Phillip Seymour Hoffman as himself
Angelina Jolie as herself
Mickey Rourke as himself
Andre 3000 as himself/spiritual guide
Mark Ronson as himself
Benecio Del Toro as Uncle Manny
Johnny Depp as Uncle Johnny
Steve Carell as Mr. Starbucks



Scene 1: Taylor, Britain, Josephina, Lorna, Mr. Starbucks, Robert Downey Jr., Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Andre 3000, and Tyra Banks are sitting inside the Starbucks. They are all wearing black, except for Andre 3000 who is wearing all silver and a white wig. Taylor is scowling at him. They are all sipping various Starbucks drinks and glancing at poster sized pictures of Kurt, Efranzia and Spearchuck. The pics are on easels in a semi-circle. Acorn rolls in and the mood remains somber. "Sour Times" by Portishead is playing.

Acorn:
Death came in a three, now we don't have to worry about you and me, but how did it come to be?

Taylor:
Damn cranes. (rolls her eyes at Andre 3000 who is sniffing his green tea frappacino instead of drinking it)

Josephina:
Just think, it could've been anyone of us picking up that extra box of soy from the Starbucks up the street-

Britain:
But Kurt could operate the van, Efranzia was along for the ride and Spearchuck could carry stuff.

Taylor:
(through gritted teeth because Andre 3000 is now batting a straw around, Britain nudges Josephina to watch him, she takes out her iPhone to capture the moment)
Damn crane just collapsed on them.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman:
Been happening a fuckin' lot around this damn city- the war zone that it is. (watches Andre 3000 awhile) Okay, what the fuck is he doing?

Taylor:
Please don't address him, he-

Andre 3000:
(speaks in a robotic voice)
Hello there, I am Negroid. I am a friendly robot-

Taylor:
(glares as Britain, Josephina, RDJ, PSH all laugh)
He does this shit sometimes- (starts to speak louder) which makes me happy I am no longer carrying your child asshole-oid!

Britain:
Woah, T...what?

Taylor:
Yeah, seems I was never with child, just bloated from all the wheatgrass n' shit. Ever since I told Senor Roboto here...well he turned into a robot.

Josephina:
Negroid is sad you aren't pregnant.

Andre 3000:
Negroid is trying to be all that she wants.

Taylor:
His name is mutha fuckin' Andre 3000!!!

Lorna:
You know, role playing is kinda sexy. Maybe you guys can get to work on a real kid- so Auntie Lorna doesn't have to return five thousand dollars worth of baby clothes!

Mr. Starbucks:
I told you to stop at two thousand, but-

Tyra Banks:
Yall! People are dead, can't you have a little respect?

Andre 3000:
(looks at her quizzically)
What is death?

Robert Downey Jr.:
Tyra's right-

Britain:
Now you're everybody's hero? (sips from her Starbucks tumbler)

Robert Downey Jr.:

Funny, sweetcheeks. I am just saying, three people are dead. Three people you knew and worked with...may have even been friendly with ...(smirks at Taylor)

Taylor:
(raises a fist to Britain)
I can't believe you told him about my past with Kurt!

Tyra Banks:
This is not about you Taylor. This is about us sharing the good times and remembering the ones we lost-

Taylor:
Didn't you straight play Kurt's ass for his UNCLE?! (everyone nods and looks at Tyra)

Tyra Banks:
Well yes, but-

Taylor:
Sit your has-been ass down.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman:

(hi-fives Taylor)
Nice one.

Robert Downey Jr.:
I think what Taylor is trying to say is...I mean really, who gives a fuck? Kurt was a douchebag. Efranzia was cool, but we knew her for two minutes and well...then there's Spearchuck.

Britain:
No one stocked napkins like him though. (looks wistful and sips from a Starbucks tumbler) It is strange though....that THEY were killed, its as if some egomaniacal writer of this screenplay we call LIFE decided she-or he was done with those characters...so she just killed them off.

Josephina:
(there is silence, and Josephina stares at Britain a long while)
Yeah, plus no one will love Taylor's grumpy ass as much as he...

Taylor:
Its not so much grumpy as it is round and slappable...

Acorn:
The ass is in classy, but now they're all ashy. May have been lame, but dead all the same...

Lorna:
You know, RDJ, I couldn't have said it better myself. He's right. I've got a hair appointment to make, see you people later. (starts to leave)

Taylor:
Wait- Mr. Starbucks, who's our new manager?

Mr. Starbucks:
Oh, you'll meet him tomorrow...he sorta just stepped right up after we heard about Kurt.

Britain:
Gonna keep us all in suspense, huh?

Mr. Starbucks:
Yep. Bye all! (he and Lorna leave)

Andre 3000:
Death? Manager? What are these things?

Taylor:
(looks at Andre a bit)
You know, Lorna is wrong! That shit isn't sexy-now you (points at RDJ) in that silver iron,metal suit...that made me moist. (Britain clears her throat and balls up a fist) Moist, in a respectful way.

Robert Downey Jr.:

Thanks. Looks like another one bites the dust, eh Taylor?

Taylor:
Bit, chewed and swallowed.


About a half hour later Josephina is sitting at the L.E.S Whole Foods waiting for her Uncle Manny. Suddenly the tallest scarily sexy Puerto Rican walks towards her table. He is wearing a leather vest and no shirt...and ripped jeans. Josephina runs and jumps into his arms like a little girl. "Paradise City" by Guns N' Roses is playing low in the background.

Josephina:
Uncle Manny! Its so good to see you!

Uncle Manny:
(they both sit)
You too, my lil roja.

Josephina:
So, is this a friendly visit or is it-

Uncle Manny:
Business. You know Fifty had help burning down that bikini bar-

Josephina:
He did! Who? (is about to crush her iced coffee cup, but realizes she is in public)

Uncle Manny:
It was them. The VMD...

Josephina:
Damn them!!! The damned Vegan Ministry of Doom! How did Fifty know they are my arch-enemies??

Uncle Manny:
(chuckles) Come on. He's not that clever. They approached him. He had his reasons and you know they hate anything associated with the Legion of Egg And Meat....

Josephina:

You don't have to alert other LEAM members, I can handle this one...with a little help from you Uncle Manny.

Uncle Manny:

Of course. I have already begun rebuilding the new bikini bar! (they hi-5 as Josephina's cell phone rings)

Josephina:

Hello...

Taylor:
Hey, J. So RDJ wants us to cater the engagement party.

Josephina:
So, cupcakes and treats?

Taylor:
That AND food, food. Its in TWO friggin' weeks and he tells us now. We've gotta plan n'-

Josephina:

We've got this. RDJ and everyone else doesn't know who they're fuckin' with because we will prevail!

Taylor:
....okay...




Scene 2: We see the outside of the Target in the Atlantic Center. Lorna, Britain and Phillip Seymour are walking around. PSH is sipping a slushie and pushing the cart. "Smile" by Lily Allen is playing in the background.

Lorna:
(sneezes)
Uh, why are we here?

Phillip Seymour Hoffman:
Do you have to ask why we are here? At Tar-jay, the best place known to man? Oh, I see a nice polo-size: husky. (strolls over to a few colorful folded polo shirts)

Britain:
You've been sneezing ever since I said I was registering at Target- L, I registered at Tiffany and Cartier too. (sips from her Starbucks tumbler)

Lorna:
Oh, good! I am just allergic to reasonably priced bargains. Is that Mossimo??

Britain:
For the masses!

Lorna:
This is so wrong. So wrong.

Britain:
Well Robert loves the idea. He's had his eye on this margarita mix set...I think Cynthia Rowley makes it-

Lorna:
Sweet Jesus! Rowley! They have Rowley here for the masses?!

Phillip Seymour Hoffman:
(saunters back over)
And slushies!

Brooklyn-nite:
Oh, are you Phiilip Seymour Hoffman?

Phillip Seymour Hoffman:

Nope, Brad Pitt. Buying some shirts for Maddox, gotta go. Ladies, let's go to electronics! (zips away with the cart)

Britain:
All in all, thanks Lorna for helping me plan my wedding. I don't know what I'd do (puts arm around her and is almost weeping) without you-

Lorna:
Oh no need to thank me, its what I'm good for...amongst other things. What's in that tumbler? Do I smell vodka?

Britain:
No its a latte. Robert is pleased that with you handling everything the booze will be good....though he's not drinking.

Lorna:
I know, first time I've ever had to ask if a bartender knew how to make shirley temples and virgin colada's....anything for RDJ...(has a wistful look, Britain looks at her a bit)

Britain:
You know, I've noticed how you and Taylor get around Robert ever since Iron Man came out and I am okay with murdering you two and making more friends....

Lorna:
Oh, we just want to have sex with him. Nothing serious. Oh...is that a 46inch flat screen....(goes towards the large TV screen, Britain chugs whatever is in her tumbler, balls up her fists and follows)


While Lorna, Britain, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are on a Target excursion, Taylor and Josephina are back at the Starbucks. A young man with spikey frosted tipped hair, a khaki Abercrombie & Fitch visor, a t-shirt that reads: A&F Beef Squad, khaki cargo shorts and flip flops. Josephina stops restocking the coffee and Taylor stops restocking the treats to stare and then laugh at this guy. Kate Perry's "Hot & Cold" is playing low in the background.

Taylor:
What the hell are you?

Josephina:
I think he's here to take us on our Hamptons getaway!

J. E'Ofinnigan:
I'm J. E'Ofinnigan- you guys can call me J.E. and I am your new coworker-

Taylor:
You have got to be fuckin' kidding me! Listen, there is an Abercrombie & Fitch uptown...

J. E'Ofinnigan:
I like treats. Especially caramel covered...(he and Taylor throw eye daggers at each other)

Josephina:
Woah...well we don't even know who our manager is...the old one died last week. (Robert Downey Jr. strolls in)

Taylor:
(hands J. E'Ofinnigan a thick spiral notebook) Here, read this till we figure this all out. (grabs RDJ for a hug) Hey you!

Jospehina:
What brings you to these parts? You know Brit isn't here...

J. E'Ofinnigan:

Shit, Robert Downey Jr. is standing here...

Robert Downey Jr.:
(waves his hand in J. E'Offinigans direction) What is this?

Taylor:
Supposedly our new coworker.

Robert Downey Jr.:
Brit didn't mention you guys had a new manager-

Josephina:
Yeah, we don't know who that is yet...

Robert Donwey Jr.:
Always excitement here at Starbucks! Well ladies, I am here to give you guys cash for the party. I know its last minute and I thank ya for doing it...

Taylor:
Anything for you, Iron Man (stands close to him, J. E'Ofinnigan snickers and a door slams. They all turn and see Britain standing with her tumbler in hand)

Robert Downey Jr.:
(steps away from Taylor) Bab-baby. Hey! Thought you were out shopping at Target-

Britain:
I was. While I was doing that you decided you needed to come by here and fuck my friends! (sips from the tumbler)

Taylor:
Woah, woah B! First of all..nothing goes down in front customers-

Josephina:
He was just dropping off money for the engagement party...we're catering it for you guys. Oh, and this is J.E. our new coworker! (J. E' Ofinnigan waves)

Britain:
Fuck that guy! He looks like all the guys that made fun of me in high school! Pseudo gay steroid driven tool bags!-

Taylor:
Couldn't have said it better.

J. E'Ofinnigan:
You guys sure know how to make a guy feel welcome.

Britain:
And fuck you Taylor-

Mickey Rourke:
(comes from the back) What the shit is going on out here?!

Josephina:
What are you doing here Uncle Mickey...the funeral was earlier this week.

Mickey Rourke:
I know. I was at training...it was like 'nam. I am your fucking manager! A manager who was trying to get some zzz's in the back until this hellcat (points at Britain) started screeching about fucking! Who's fucking? I want some-

J. E' Ofinnigan:
This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I knew Starbucks would-

Taylor:
Uncle Mickey...you're the manager! How....can you read?

Mickey Rourke:
Kurt, my retarded nephew was your manager. Who gives a fuck about reading, sweet tits?!

Robert Downey Jr.:
I better get the hellcat out of here-

Britain:
Don't be so smug Robert! I hate you- (punches his shoulder as he takes her out of the Starbucks)

Josephina:
(looks at J. E'Ofinnigan) She is really the nicest out of all us-

Taylor:
No you are J, then B....then...Uncle Mickey I guess...then L....then Mr. Starbucks...and well I have no problem saying I am low down dirty beatch.

J. E' Ofinnigan:

Well, as long as you keep it dirty...(more dagger stares between he and Taylor)

Josephina:
(looks at watch) Well, I haveta run....

Uncle Mickey:

You guys keep it quiet out here. I need at least 10 hours of sleep. (goes back to the back)

Once outside, Josephina checks to see who is causing her cellphone to ring. The screen reads: Uncle Manny. She picks up.

Josephina:
Hey, where are we training:

Uncle Manny:
Equinox of course-

Josephina:
WHAT?! I need jagged glass and cold air, not smoothies and yoga classes!

Uncle Manny:
They play the best pop music mix I have ever heard in public. Also, we can train in peace, the VMD would expect us to be in a Lucille Roberts...not someplace right under their noses.

Josephina:
I guess you have a point there...

Uncle Manny:
Get your ass over here! Calvinography starts in 15.


Scene 3: We are in Robert Downey Jr.'s chic hotel room. He and Britain are trying to enjoy a quiet afternoon without Britain becoming violent and incoherent. They are watching "Dark Angel" .

Britain:
I don't understand why this show didn't become like...'Lost'...you know big!

Robert Downey Jr.:
It's not because of bad writing or acting- at least it was a spring board for Jessica Alba-

Britain:
True. God knows she never would've made it without this show....(sips from her Starbucks tumbler, RDJ watches her)

Robert Downey Jr.:
Let's say I were in a wheel chair...like Michael Weatherly's character...would you be all gooey eyed for me like Alba is for him?

Britain:
Now are you a parapalegic addict?

Robert Downey Jr.:

Harsh.

Britain:
I'm just saying a girl handle so much. Limp dick and a coke addiction- (RDJ looks at her open-mouthed, his cellphone rings)

Robert Downey Jr:

(clears throat)
Hello...

Taylor:
Hey Iron Man...have some news..

Robert Downey Jr.
:
Oh hey Taylor...(slides away from Britain as she starts growling at the mention of Taylor's name)
What's up?

Taylor:
Catering going good also got a DJ. I mean your iPod on shuffle might be okay, but Mark Ronson would tons better-

Robert Downey Jr.:

Holy shit! He did the TomKat wedding...and now he's doing our engagement party-

Taylor:

Well not OURS, but is there something you're trying to-

Robert Downey Jr.:

Bye Taylor! (he clicks his cell phone off) B, Taylor got Mark Ronson to spin at our party!

Britain:
Whoopie! He will be the soundtrack to you fucking one of my best friends!

Robert Downey Jr.:
You're talking crazy, Brit! What's gotten into you lately-

Britain:
Not you! You're too busy boning my friends!

Robert Downey Jr.:
Maybe if you weren't acting looney!
(Britain punches RDJ in the stomach, RDJ whimpers)


While there are dark clouds hanging over the Britain's domestic life, Josephina stops by Taylor's apartment to finalize the engagement party menu.

Josephina:
Alright, so salmon burrito's with caper lime rice-

Taylor:
You notice how weird Britain's acting?

Josephina:
You are all over Robert.

Taylor:
Oh come on! She knows I would never, am just having a lil fun-

Josephina:
Its probably nerves. They're getting married and she has been waiting for like 2 years for this. Wait- are you wearing skinny jeans...and a..a...vest?

Taylor:
(looks down at her outfit)
Yeah.

Josephina:
Are you going incognito again? Andre 3000- I mean Negroid-

Taylor:
Nope. Just trying something new. I told RDJ that I got Mark Ronson to spin at the engagement party.

Josephina:
Awesome. (notices a red dot on Taylor's shoulder, she jumps up and pushes Taylor. She then begins shooting out of Taylor's open window. A few seconds later a slightly wounded Angelina Jolie comes through the window. She and Josephina begin to karate fight, as Taylor runs into the kitchen and returns with a tupperware of cupcakes. Taylor begins throwing them at Angelina's face. At some point Angelina' swallows a little cupcake, hisses and then goes back out of window)

Taylor:
What...the...fuck....

Josephina:
Thanks T. How did you know to get cupcakes?

Taylor:
I ...don't...know...

Uncle Johnny:
Its called instinct. (a tall sexyily ethnic looking man with a ponytail appears in Taylors doorway. Taylor drops the tupperware and jumps into his arms)

Taylor:
Uncle Johnny!

Uncle Johnny:
Taylor. My favorite niece (checks her out)...you're okay? You weren't hit?

Taylor:
Nope...

Josephina:
(stands)
I wouldn't let anything happen to her-

Uncle Johnny:
You put her in this danger! Bringing her into your fight with the VMD!

Taylor:
Who has VD?

Josephina:
How...how do you know about that?

Uncle Johnny:
I am EWDPTS!

Josephina:
Ethnics Who Don't Play That Shit....wow, I've never met one...

Uncle Johnny:
Now you've met two. (looks at Taylor who is coyly eating a cupcake)

Taylor:
Wait...what? I am a part of some crew? DO I have to pay fee's...or draw blood?

Uncle Johnny:
(chuckles)
No. You just have to be. Your time will come-you already have the instincts.

Josephina:
Wow Taylor...we're both a part of assasination crews! (they hi-5)

Taylor:
I wonder if Britain is in one too...and doesn't know...Lorna definitely is affliated with something-

Uncle Johnny:
The main thing to remember is to keep this all a secret. No one has to know, unless they have to.

Taylor:
Yeah, I can keep a secret...


Scene 5: We are at Britain and Robert Downey Jr's engagement party! Mark Ronson is Dj'ing while Lorna, Mr. Starbucks, Uncle Johnny, Taylor, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Acorn, Uncle Mickey, and J. E. O'finnigan all mingle. The party is in a large open loft space in Soho. There are waiters and waitresses dressed in black serving cocktails and hor d'ouerves. "American Boy" by Estelle is playing.

Robert Downey Jr.:
(stands next to Josephina)
This is great! I can't thank you, Taylor and Lorna enough.

Josephina:
No worries. We'd do anything for our girl Britain...and you too, by association- (notices RDJ has sad eyes) is everything okay?

Robert Downey Jr.:
Fine. Fine. (mumbles something) I see the Hoffster, gonna go say hi.

Josephina:
Okay....(notices Taylor. Who is wearing a mini magenta dress, charcoal leggings and fedora) What the hell?

Taylor:
Hello to you too, Jose. The party is a success (waves Lorna and Mr. Starbucks over)

Josephina:
Sure, but what's up with the outfit? Next you're going to tell me you're going to a Vampire Weekend concert...

Taylor:
They are actually great live...(Josephina gasps)

Lorna:
Taylor, Taylor...dressing like SJP a la "Square Pegs" is not going to get RDJ into your bed-

Taylor:
I don't want RDJ in my bed!

Mr. Starbucks:
Come on now, even I want to fuck that guy. We all do...just that you're a lil more blatant.

J. E' Ofinnigan:

What's this about fucking Robert Downey Jr.?

Taylor:
No one is fucking Robert- (a mini pig-in-a-blanket hits her on the forehead, she looks up and sees Britain glaring at her)
B...I am not...

Britain:

Enough is enough! We are fighting! Ronson put on some Prodigy because I am about to smack this bitch up!

Taylor:

Britain...seriously...no...I am not doing ANYTHING with Robert-look at me, I'm totally bangin' Mark Ronson! (Mark looks up and then goes back to DJ'ing)

Britain:
The more you say his name the more its gonna hurt!

Robert Downey Jr.:
Brit, stop it! (takes the Starbucks tumbler out her hand that she has been chuggin') Is that a Cuervo magarita?!

Acorn:
Baby B is a hot mess, tequila and her friends got her stressed...wish I coulda been there for some agression sex-

Taylor:
Shit tequila! (whispers at her Uncle Johnny) Will my instincts help me? B can kill a bitch when she's on the 'quila...

Uncle Johnny:

It may not come to that (eyes J. EO'finnigan who is calmly sipping a martini and Britain who is thrusting her bodily violently at RDJ and PSH trying to get to Taylor)

Uncle Mickey:
Let her go! Haven't seen a good fight since I bit the head off my chihuahua. Wanna see some BLOOD!

Lorna:
(eyes Uncle Mickey)
I like you. Kurt had no hootzpah. You've got it.

Uncle Johnny:

(walks towards Britain)
You need to keep him (points to J. E'Ofinnigan) away from her (points at Britain)...

Josephina:
I understand because he is wearing cargo pants...but what does this have to do with Britain killing Taylor?

Uncle Johnny:
Its him. Britain doesn't want to kill her- wow, I've heard of this but have never seen it- these two are soul mates.

Britain:
(stops thrashing)
What the fuck? Who let this asshole in! No one, and I mean NO MAN with a pony tail tells me what the fuck is going on!!

Uncle Johnny:
You, (turns to J. E'Ofinnigan) when did you get to town?

J. E'Ofinnigan:

Just moved here like 3 weeks ago...

Robert Downey Jr.:
Which is when Britain started acting funny-

Josephina:
....and when the tumbler came out.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman:

As crazy as this sounds....its makes sense....then again what's really crazy Mickey Rourke managing a Starbucks?

Uncle Johnny:
This happens every 20 or so years....two people destined to be together, who are perfectly powerful without each other-meet and then one becomes a wreck, while the other gains a little more power...

Taylor:
So we have to get rid of J.E.?

Uncle Johnny:

No. Now that Britain knows, she should be fine...now if they copulate-

Britain:

Oh hells no!

Robert Downey Jr.:

(shudders)
He is wearing a plaid button-down...how is that YOUR soul mate?

Uncle Johnny:

Opposites attract, I guess.

J. E'Ofinnigan:

You guys don't even know me, I'm cool guy...soul mate material.

Britain:

Right...baby, get me out of here....

Robert Downey Jr.:
With pleasure. (they start to head out)

Britain:
T, we good?

Taylor:
Always. (Britain and RDJ leave)

Josephina:

Okay! Why don't we continue this awesomely awkward party at my NEW bikini bar!

Uncle Mickey:

As long as there are 'happy endings'...

J. E'Ofinnigan is driving Taylor to the new and improved Hot Ho's Bikini Bar. They are drop off her Uncle Johnny who has an early day. Once Uncle Johnny leaves the car, J. E'finnigan begins staring longingly in Taylor's eyes. Ne-Yo's "Closer" is playing low in the background.

Taylor:

What?!

J. E'Ofinnigan:
I'm just glad you're not my soul mate...

Taylor:
I know! Britain has all the luck! Can we get a move on, don't wanna miss the good cupcakes!

J. E'Ofinnigan:

(caresses her cheek, she shivers)
I understand you wanting to fight this and we need to be secretive, but we're alone now....(leans closer to her) and that hating on me shit has got to stop.

Taylor:
(sighs)
Okay....


We are at Hot Ho's Bikini Bar. Uncle Manny has joined the party and is watching J. E'Ofinnigan who is watching as Taylor chats with Mark Ronson. "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne is on.




Taylor:
So, you just add some horns and emo becomes soulful?

Mark Ronson:
Well, I also add in guitars played by Black people. That's where the soul comes in...

Taylor:
I see...then you find a crack head to sing on it. (starts laughing) Come on that was funny!

Mark Ronson:
No it wasn't- (they are interrupted by Uncle Manny trying to blowing a dart toward J. E'Ofinnigan, one that Taylor catches and throws back hitting Uncle Manny's arm. Everyone is shocked)

Josephina:
I guess thats it. Hot Ho's is gonna be a success! We've already had one almost killing! Uncle Manny why did you try to kill J.E.?

Uncle Manny:
Cuz he's..(passes out)

J. E'Ofinnigan:
Someone better get that man to a doctor. (smiles at Taylor, she squints at him, Josephina looks between the two of them)




Scene 6:
We are back at the Starbucks. Britain and Taylor are behind registers, Josephina is restocking the treats, J. E'Ofinnigan is wiping off counters and Uncle Mickey is sleeping in the back office. "Everything is Everything" by Lauryn Hill is playing low in background.

Taylor:
Again, I'm sorry I hurt your Uncle Manny-

Britain:
To save...him (looks at J. E'Ofinnigan with disgust)

Josephina:
You mean your soul mate, Britain? (smiles, Taylor laughs, Britain scowls) Its okay T...is there any reason why you would wanna save a tool bag though?

Taylor:

Well who's gonna stock napkins?

Britain:

That's Taylor, always thinking ahead.

J. E'Ofinnigan:

Speaking of napkins I need help finding some in the back...Taylor. (they eye dagger each other)

Taylor:
Can't find good help these days...(goes in the back with J.E'Ofinnigan)

Josephina:
At least she stopped wearing hipster gear.

Britain:

Yeah...and I mean Taylor has fucked some dildo's in her time, but even SHE has standards...right?

Josephina:

Totally. (they look at each other and then towards the back)

Britain:

She is totally bonin' him.

Josephina:
Yep.

Britain:
At least you have your bikini bar and I am not a crazy abusive drunk! (they hi-5)

Josephina:

Hells yeah! We're moving on up!

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