Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Place Where I Work: Workin' It?

I’ve always fancied myself the heroine in the movie where I happen to stumble upon Oprah Winfrey’s number-while slaving away at my lowly temp job- I remind her that I met her at age 11 and she wasn’t very pleasant…and then I proceed to be the first bestselling author for Oprah’s BRAND NEW publishing house called: O Books.
Thoughts like this occur to me when I work in places where higher ups in the film, TV, music AND publishing industry’s info are placed ever so gently at my finger tips. Something always stops me though. It’s like yeah I’ll look up various rap songs by Brian Austen Green all day, but contacting a big wig at Harper Collins would be overstepping my ‘code of work ethic’…or something. It’s called opportunity and rarely do I seize it. This has to change. There has to be a way-without getting fired and then blacklisted in this illustrious ‘temping’ community- to contact these people (in the publishing world specifically) in a subtle way.

In other news, we have an intern. I was excited at the prospect of unpaid, young tender sac (because I only care about the male ones), and then of course when I meet said ‘tender sac’ I always think: he looks all of 12 or 13 tops!
That’s not attractive to me. Around 16 or 17-depending on how much McDonalds they’ve eaten, all them hormones make for mighty fine looking older looking sac- is when I start putting the ‘almondy’ on them. I’m starting a new thing. Calling my look of lust ‘almondy’- said in a gay man’s dialect of lisp- because my eyes are almond shaped. Sheer genius.
Anyways, the intern looks like a well dressed 12 year old, but his voice…I would eff the shit out of his voice!!! Like woah. Am feeling bad about thinking this especially since there is this team of geeks-ahem, dudes- installing a new phone system including one (dude) that looks like he touches children/animals in inappropriate ways. He has wild eyes (very different from the eyes of the insane) and teeth that are too spaced out. Like in between every tooth there is a gap. The combination along with his schoolboy hairstyle- and he is a GROWN ass man- makes me leery. I keep getting distracted though, by another dude who works with him who sounds EXACTLY like the Russian bear on The Cleveland Show. Wanna hear that dude talk alll day.

5PM cannot come soon enough; I still have birthday celebrating to do!!

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