Conversations With Ice: Calling Out

Time for another conversation with my should-be friend Ice T...

Ice T is back from vacay and I am out of my slump. We are driving around in his Bentley-he is actually driving- listening to a ridin' mix he has put together. The mix includes: Hall & Oates, Naughty by Nature, Queen, Katy Perry (ugh) and many others. Ice says we are going to this spot in Brooklyn he remembers having the best chicken n’ waffles. We’ve been driving around Brooklyn for about 2 hours and he has hit repeat on Katy Perry’s song ‘Teenage Dream’. He is also singing along.

Me: What the fuck, Ice!

Ice T: (he finishes the chorus and then responds) You’re only allowed to curse three times in the Bentley. So that’s one…

Me: I think it should be upped to six times because you’re playing Katy Perry- and I know you’ve got some Black Eyed Peas on this mix too!-

Ice T: You need to slow your roll. Am I not driving you around in my Bentley to find the best chicken and waffles I have ever eaten?

Me: If you mean I should be thankful for driving around Brooklyn in your Bentley looking for a spot that was probably in California-

Ice T: It’s here in Brooklyn, crabby. (we are at a red light, he looks at me a bit) Your aura seems real disrespectful today. Thought we were over this.

Me: It’s not that I don’t respect you…it’s that I saw somewhere that you called Treach one of the greats-

Ice T: That’s cuz he is…

Me: You think Treach is one of the greatest rappers…for real? Like ‘O.P.P’ or ‘Alright’ were great feats of wordsmithery-

Ice T: Stop being uppity.

Me: This from the dude with Katy Perry on repeat…

Ice T: I am not uppity. I just have excellent taste- and do you really wanna go there with me? Two words: Topaz. Jenkins.

Me: That hurts, Ice.

Ice T: That blog hurt my head-what the fuck was that?

Me: First, how many times are YOU allowed to curse? And secondly, you read my blog? (place my hand over my heart and swoon a little)

Ice T: First, it’s my Bentley. Second, of course I do. Sweet T, don’t act brand new to our friendship.

Me: You’re right. Just like I’m allowed to have a few off blogs…you’re allowed to think Treach is a rap great and listen to Katy Perry.

Ice T: Shit, that waffle place IS in California. We’ll go to Juniors, my treat…

Me: You’re so lucky I like you Ice. Lucky.

The End.