Friday, October 15, 2010

The Place Where I Work: Fisting Friday

Today-pretty much since I set my caramel macchiato on my desk this AM-I have been working. Like intense, tedious bullshit working. Wanting to stab people with dull objects working.
It’s your job you say. And I say: BUT IT’S FRIDAYYYYYY!
THEN, THEEENNNN I find out that my future/sex/love/hubby Jake Gyllenfuck was in my neighborhood. You live in New York City you say- but my neighborhood is wayyyyyyyyyy out in Brooklyn that thankfully isn’t of interest to hipsters or yuppies. So he was just out there doing God knows what and I am in Midtown getting assraped- figuratively!
The only thing that kept me from taking a stapler to some skulls was getting eyefucked by Clark Kent. There I was, coming back from a much needed 10 minute walk around the block-or some blocks- when I come back and see him there. Glassesless and sucking on a candy- I am wayyyy too done to even come up with something clever about one of my body parts he was thinking of. (That is how much this day has sucked)
Anyways, there I am and there he is. Smiling. I say ‘hi’. Then he says ‘hello’ and proceeds with the eyefucking. OF COURSE this was being interrupted by another guard I call Shorty NoNeck who insists on thinking he’s funny and asking me questions about my life. Dude, stop stalking me- UNLESS he’s finding out info for my beloved Clark Kent…Hmmm.

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