Friday, November 5, 2010

The Place Where I Work: In Like Flynn

Where do I begin?????
Lemme first say: THANK HAY-SUS for Snacki and SoCo!! (She decided to have a liquid lunch) I pick her up and we head to the Starbucks we say Menudo works at- usually I call them my Angry Ethnic Barista's, but Snacki insists they are angry because they ARE/WERE Menudo and ARE NOT Ricky Martin.
On our way out we see Clark Kent. We do our usual 'hello' and both notice that he has a slight haircut. Hmmm. Snacki wonders if he's going to the club tonight...we both say: Latin Quarters or LQ's because we think he is Puerto Rican and we assume most Puerto Rican go to LQ's on a Friday night. We decide that upon returning to our office building we shall inquire about CK's evening plans! Remember, Snacki thinks we need to talk to him more to find out more info. Also note that things go BAD when I talk to him.
So once we're in, Snacki goes in. HARD!

Snacki: so, you going ot LQ's tonight- Latin Quarters?

Clark Kent: what is that?

Me: a club. i mean, you have a fresh haircut and it's friday!

Clark Kent: nope. no latin quarters for me- (he is amused and also has a shocked look on his face)

Me: hmm...well what club are you going to? you don't hang out in jersey do you?

Clark Kent: (laughs) no i don't...

Snacki: that's good. yeah where you clubbin' at?

Me: the one where he'll be in the middle of the dance floor with his shirt open (and I proceed to do some kind of move with some stiff pelvic action going on- yes I bring ALL the boys to the yard)

Clark Kent: actually I just take my shirt off (proceeds to start patting his forehead with a napkin)

Snacki: then we will be at that club! woah, why are you sweating?

Me: because he is standing here talking to two beautiful ladies...

Clark Kent: exactly...also i just came from working out.

Me: woah woah...gotta get the muscles TIGHT before you hit the club...(i demonstrate him kissing his own bicep)

Snacki: yeah! doing situps before you hit the dance floor...

Clark Kent: yep. i also do crunches...

Snacki: are you puerto rican?

Clark Kent: no. woah...

Snacki: well we have a bet going with a few ladies about your ethnicity...

Me: and how many kids you have...i thought you were italian...

Clark Kent: close...

Snacki: greek?

Clark Kent: albanian.

Snacki and Me: woah, what?!

Snacki: no one guessed that one.

Clark Kent: then nobody wins the money.

Snacki: that means you're muslim, right?

Clark Kent: yes.

Me: oh man, no bacon...

Clark Kent: they serve bacon in these clubs? (pats his forehead again)

Snacki: damn, why you sweatin' so much....(wink wink)

Me: no bacon in the club, but we couldn't eat bacon together...and as for kids...

Snacki: i'm going to say 10.

Me: i say...2-3

Clark Kent: i don't have 10 kids. what if i have one...(looks at me)

Me: then i win! (he doesn't confirm or deny)

Clark Kent: why are you guys talking to me? you usually just walk by....

Snacki: we're bored- i mean...

Me: aww not like that, you always have guys or other people around you...

Clark Kent: i'll send them away. they're boring anyways-

Me: this was probably the best conversation you've had while working here...

Clark Kent: definitely. (grabs water bottle)

Snacki: ohhh what's that?

Me: gatorade...or milk muscle?? (I then fall to the ground laughing because MILK MUSCLE??!! I am obviously thinking about his penis!)

Clark Kent: no it's not muscle milk- a lot of guys here drink that though, you'd never know though...

Me: that's for sure.

Snacki: well that no neck one...i mean- (covers mouth as she and i laugh)

Clark Kent: well let's make a habit of this.

Me and Snacki: ohhhh we will!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! Snacki definitely thinks he was nervous and I caught him giving me the eye a few times. PENETRATION- PARTY OF TWO! HOLLA!!!

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