Thursday, January 20, 2011

Energy Balls.

I've established that just because I am a hot commodity- not just attractive, but have a personality that is as seductive as a cat rolling around on the floor in heat. Pretty hot, pretty noisy.
This dude emails me. I have never met him, but he saw me and thought: why not?
So he emails me and it's cool. I don't hate him immediately. Then like maybe 5 emails in (over a course of a few days) he writes something about my lips- it wasn't sweet as much as it was pervy. He apologizes for being crass but says he is undersexed and lack of sleep.
Um, who are you telling about being UNDERSEXED yet I don't write about placing myself upon random dudes faces and then cop out by saying I am tirrrrred.
Needless to say...I never emailed him back. Why bother?
With his 'never say die' attitude, dude emails me again. This time he offers a blind date meet up at a...wait for it...RAVE!
Did I jump in my Delorian and head back to the late 90's (or whenever I was in college)...back to the time when I went to raves n' shit. No, I didn't wear candy necklaces...but I did wear a cowboy hat.
Let that sit with you for a minute. Me in a cowboy hat. Midriff baring shirt, windpants, skechers....not high AT a rave.

In the nicest (sweetest) way possible I let the dude know that I had no intentions of recapturing my youth by going to a rave- I will recapture my youth by banging 21 year old dudes though. Just give me a few years.


  1. Who needs a rave when Karma is only a drive to the shore away? Ammiright?

  2. see, if that offer were put on the table then I'd be all OVER it