Tuesday, January 4, 2011

How To Make A Sex Tape....Continuation

Logical Sex:How To Get Famous
by Honey T


When we left off Janet was asking Christopher what he wanted to discuss because discussing things are always the main highlights of sex tapes!


C: Are you sure you wanna do this in profile? This is about show casing your assets-

J: You want me to talk to the camera and not you?

C: I want you to be naturally unnatural. If you don't look good then I don't look good. (he almost jumps out of his towel when he see's Janet has taken off her robe, she has on boy shorts and a bra)

J: What, never been this close to a woman?

C: No warm up, no 'hey I'm gonna take off my robe now'...

J: Well I thought to myself 'What Would Prince Do?' and Prince would just take it all off...and get on the...horse, so to say.

C: Prince would also wear something purple and a little more lacey-shit, now I'm thinking about Prince. This is not going to help 'Nino Brown'...

J: (stares at Christopher a while, with disbelief) You named your dick 'Nino Brown'? Why?

C: Nino took no prisoners-

J: And your...-it does the same...(throws herself facedown on the bed, muffled) Are you even brown? Black...whatever?

C: Part. Listen, you're getting caught up in the details. In the end, we're just two attractive people trying to live the dream...and have a lil fun along the way.

J: (sits up)That was from a side- the first time we met at an audition. We ran lines together...and I hated you for some reason.

C: Good memory. Do you still hate me?

J: Yes, but I think that'll make for good sex. Good sex means good sex tape and good sex tape means ballers for me and maybe a soap opera for you....

C: Soap opera, maybe. A rap career is a definite....

J: You are more of a joke than I am.

C: I am actually joking- fuck being a rapper! You're pretty serious about marrying rich and staying pretty...never reaching your full potential. (he lays beside Janet on the bed, she is turned towards him)

J: How do you know I have potential? What if I'm just another pretty face with a body built for sin?

C: That may be true-maybe you're right. You're just another gold digging, no talent...now I don't want to call you a whore because the verdict hasn't come in on that yet.

J: (stares at Christopher a long while, he smirks and plays with her hair)Bullshit. One thing you cannot do is bullshit and bullshitter. Chris, what is the real reason you wanted to do this?

C: What the- real reason? Janet, you sat in that bar with me and you agreed that we would make a pretty phenomenal sex tape that would put us on the fast track to fame...

J: It was your idea and I was drinking Patron! Do you not understand the effects of Patron?

C: One week. One whole week to back out or say no-yet here you are in the ...boudoir showing all of Victoria's secrets....

J: And here you are in your towel quoting a side from the first time we met...(sits up and starts putting the robe back on)

C: Maybe I'm just unoriginal.

J: Or maybe you're just madly in love with me and this is your idea of a perfect first date (is now fully off the bed, disappears behind the silk screen)

C: (hasn't moved and is watching the screen) Make that an imaginative, gold digging, not talent possible whore.

J: (from behind the screen) Whatever Christopher! You just find someone else to make your tape with, someone you're NOT in love with. I'm going to find Shia!

C: Good ole LaDouche. Tell me something...

J: (has come from behind the screen fully clothed in a t-shirt and jeans) What?

C: What has freaked you out more-the fact that I'm in love with you or that you're in love with me? (he is now standing in front of Janet)

J: Didn't 'Nino Brown' die at the end of that movie?

C: Wow, you've got ....'Nino Brown' on the brain.

J: (grabs Christopher and kisses him, this goes on for a while) That doesn't change anything. I still hate you...now turn the camera off.


The End.

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