Monday, January 3, 2011

How To Make A Sex Tape....

Logical Sex: How To Get Famous
by Honey T

Inspiration can come from various places...people...and things.
This came about from a conversation about making a sex tape that wouldn't involve a lot of sex-because that is the type of sex tape I would make. Suddenly I found myself writing a scene about two people- struggling actors who are making a sex tape to further their careers. Only thing is...something else happens. Goals change, and sometimes penetration of the heart is wayyyyyy better than just some deep penetration of the loins.
There will be 2 parts. This is the first and look for the second part tomorrow. Let me know what you think...

Setting: Urban/City dwelling. A loft space that is softly lit. The world outside seems cold, but inside the loft seems warm. Very warm. There are candles lit and recess lighting. There is a large bed with large pillows. The large bed is covered in white sheets-no blankets. The pillows are white too. Soft music is playing, it is a jazzified version of 'The Whisper Song' by The Ying Yang Twins.

Christopher- 20's, actor, 'prison build', perceived as a jerk but really isn't.
Janet- 20's, actor/model, 'video chick stature', plays the shallow role because it's easier than being disappointed.

Christopher and Janet have known each other over a year, they mostly see each other at auditions, until after one commercial shoot, they went for drinks and came up with a way to jump start their careers. They decided to make a sex tape. Christopher's cousin owns an apartment and happens to be away for the weekend, so they're using the space for filming.

Christopher walks towards the inviting bed with a towel (only) wrapped around his waist. He is humming a little ditty and paces around the bed throwing a can of whipped cream from hand to hand. He doesn't notice Janet peeking from behind a large screen that is placed a few paces from the bed. The screen is Japanese-styled and has a painting of a sunset on it.

C: Janet! Come out, this sex tape isn't going to make itself- (as if remembering, he runs off and comes back to the bed with a tripod, and sets up the video camera)

J: (whispers) Doing this for the diamonds, condos and shoes. Loads of shoes. (louder) I'll be out...don't think you can handle it though...

C: Just come out....(after setting up camera he begins doing crunches)

J: (comes from behind screen, a little wobbly from the 4inch heels she's wearing. she is wearing a silk thigh length robe, her hair is up in chopsticks, she watches Christopher do his crunches)...I don't think I can do this-

C: (looks up at her and begins laughing hysterically) What the fuck are you wearing?

J: Um, I'm playing up my exotic thing-

C: Why not just come out in a loin cloth with titties just-a-swinging in the breeze?

J: Fuck you.

C: That's the point. (he stands and holds out a hand to Janet) Come, let's relax on the...boudoir-

J: We're in the boudoir, this would be the bed. My God you must be hung...

C: Patience. I'll turn on the camera and we'll just chat....then after thinking about Jessica Alba long enough I'll be able to rock your world.

J: Saying things like 'I'll rock your world' makes me not only dry, but this close to putting my clothes and going to Starbucks. Get discovered the old fashioned way...

C: Yeah because Speilberg is always hanging out at that Starbucks waiting to cast an unknown-

J: Shia LaBouef goes to my Starbucks and that's his cousin or something so boo-ya!!

C: Who cares about Shia LaDouche-

J: Besides, we're making a sex tape! I'm just hoping to get on a reality show. Then maybe some athlete will see me and make me the mother of his children...and then I can do more reality TV and be set for life.

C: Come on, you're way smarter than that. Gotta think big. Our tape will be different...

J: There's a camera, right?

C: Yep.

J: And we're having sex, right?

C: Yep-but

J: Are you going to do some Fellini type editing?

C: Maybe. (goes to turn on the camera, then walks back to the bed. he pats the space next to him. Janet walks slowly over to him, she sits beside him. Christopher takes the chopsticks out of her hair, her hair falls down her back. Janet kicks off her heels and turns towards Christopher folding her legs beneath her)

J: So...what did you want to talk about?

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