Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The 'irate' in Luxuriate.

These few days before I begin mutilating my soul in the corporate arena have been spent bettering my spirit. Preparing me for the raping n' pillaging that I'm about to endure-okay, it won't be that bad because we all know I'll make it entertaining. :)
I've been chillin', walkin' about, gallery hopping, drinking too much vodka, dancing till I'm sweaty and contemplating volunteer work.
Okay, there's nothing really to contemplate- I am going to volunteer my time with the children. I know. Me. Children. Kids love me though- I think its the fact that we can only speak truth- I wanna work with teenagers though. Instead of offering to punch them repeatedly, I figure it would be more beneficial to enrich them with positivity and guidance. Well, just being there.
All this searching for work and trying to make my dreams happen makes me feel soooo self-involved. All I, I, I..me, me, me...all the damn time. That gets boring n' old after a bit.
Will let ya know how it goes for me...and if any teens get punched.

So, in between all these great moments...I knew I needed to take care of business i.e. renew my ID (yep, can't drive). This means heading to every one's favorite place...THE DMV!!! Since I am clever, I went to the DMV Express. In and out. I've done it before- pause.
It started out good. Even made plans with a friend to check out some fashion events and have coffee afterwards.
I go to the ticket counter. Fill out the form...decide to take another picture because I am not only vain, but I like to mark time. Compare old ID's.
I take the pic and get a number. As I am waiting I hear this amazing conversation, blindly at first:

Woman: ...I saw you look into her face.
Man: Who's face?
Woman: I saw that girl look into your face and you were looking into hers and then she went back to her friends and kept lookin' at you...
Man: What? She came and stood next to me and then went back to her friends, I wasn't lookin' in her face.
Woman: How would you know all that if you weren't all in her face...
Man: You need to stop being so insecure...
Woman: Insecure? Let me tell you something, I can get any man I want-young, old (at this point I had to turn to look at them...and yeah...they were definitely special...possible drug addicts or something). As a matter of fact I got hit on by someone today-
Man: Well good for you...[he lays his head on her shoulder]...I love you babe [muffled because of shoulder].

I thanked HOV for being around for these special moments....and I continued to wait.
My number gets called finally! YAY!!
I go all prepared. Gary- the dude at desk #10-tells me that this won't take long. Then it does take long. Then 'Cleo' AKA Queen Latifah's character in "Set It Off" comes over and they continue to take long. Gary and 'Cleo' both determine that I have to start the process all over! Forget what I read on the website. Forget me asking Gary WHY? WHY? WHY?-it doesn't make sense. 'Cleo' had the final say and says it doesn't matter what I heard (or read), shit changes....life goes on and I would have to come back and start ALL.OVER.AGAIN.
So much for all the luxuriating I did. Could use another drink or 3...but that would make me puffy and not on point for my first day. *sigh*


  1. The DMV is eeeevvvil - this from a fellow non-driver in need of a non-driver's license state ID (who is too scared of the DMV o take care of things, and so am reduced to using my passport as proof of age, AS IF MY WRINKLES WEREN'T ENOUGH).

  2. girrrrl, you and me both now. I frowned upon peeps using passports because they cost MAD MONEY...but now, I understand. ones sanity is worth more than any money!:)

    what wrinkles? puhlease!!! I get worried when they don't even check my ID...am like dayummmm CRYPT KEEPER ALERT!!! ahhahahahah

  3. whoa! non-driver party up in here!!

    gotta have a passport anyway, so escape to paradise is easy! sorry about the hell experience, though. massachusetts makes it extra lame: a state ID doesn't get you into a bar or liquor store, you have to have a separate "liquor license" for that... BUT... YOU CANNOT GET BOTH ON THE SAME DAY!!! they make you drag your ass back to get the other one. fuck a liquor license. i carry my passport.

  4. dizzam! the bean may have the best chowdah, but that whole liquor license thing sucks balls, yo!