Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble...Bitches!

It shouldn't be surprising that my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, I mean you pick any three blogs I've written and it will involve me eating, cooking or thinking about eating or cooking. Its what/how I do. I love food. As a kid, I would be just as excited about Turkey Day as I was about Christmas. Now, I am more excited about giving Christmas gifts and eating till it hurts on Turkey Day.
People try to make it hard to like this day with talk of poor turkey treatment and how there is nothing THANKFUL about how Native folk are treated- this especially makes me ashamed since I have Native blood flowing through the veins, but with all the casino's I feel better about things.:)
Nothing can deter my love for the holiday that involves pies, various meats, plentiful starches, when egg nog is first put out for the holiday season, and...oh yeah, family!
My parents being somewhat smart peeps, kept the drama to a minimum by not inviting a lot of the family. So there were no big reveals or fights- the worst part was the waiting. Smelling all the good food smells and waiting till so n' so got here or till it was at least 5 'clock. Since we tried the Thanksgiving Day Parade one year...well twice. Once for me and once for my bro. This may have been when I developed my crowd anxiety-yes, I am a New Yorker who doesn't do crowds!
Anywho, tried the parade and realized it wasn't for we did movies. My dad, bro and I would go to movies. We wouldn't eat popcorn, just drink because the 'TDay Fast' had to be reinforced.
Through the years, my love for the holiday hasn't wavered, but traditions change. There were the years after my parents split, then there was the time my mom went away for the holiday-still cooking before she left because she values her life, or the time I actually helped with the cooking. This was big because I don't wanna ruin a good thing. My mom can THROW.DOWN!!! As I get older and think about starting my own family I realize I need to learn how she makes the magic happen. Not all at once because if I knew how to make my moms oyster stuffing or how to bake a sweet potato pie...I would fulfill my goal of being so LARGE I am bed ridden. Who wants to be 800lbs? I DO! Why? Hey, I watch them documentaries on peeps who eat like 30,000 calories a day. Sure, the thought of eating 5 whole chickens in one sitting makes my stomach turn...but uh, they're getting married, having a life! If I could do all that from my bed AND eat 3 bacon cheeseburgers...OH MAN, would be so elated, like when one of them chicks from that show For The Love of Ray J gets her test results back and she only has 1 or 2 STD's instead of 5. Mad happy, yo!
So, I don't learn everything till I fully comprehend moderation. I got a crash course in moderation last Thanksgiving when I pretty much ate myself SICK. Like couldn't leave my house AND couldn't eat-SICK. Sad times.

This year I am going to be better with it though. Stronger. More moderate. I'm going to learn how to make my moms stuffing fo'sho'. I won't start test runs of the stuffing till about January or February-and won't eat it all myself.
....I guess it really isn't all about food for me though-like I really thought it was, I've been invited to Thanksgiving dinner by some friends, but there's NO WAY I can miss out on eating with my mom, bro and whomever else we invite.
Even The Rabbi invited me-jokingly- for some buffalo wings on TDay...because he is from Buffalo and that is how they do.:P Though I enjoy a good joke about 'stuffing' and buffalo wing appetizers, The Rabbi must quit fiddlin' with my emotions. Involving food and possible ass play- or fondling is what he's known for...HA! HA!- involving those 2 things is just mean!...or another life lesson for The Darkness. When he's about to get all cozy with the fam...and perhaps a special lady (acceptance, part of getting over it:) )...and I show up. With pie and elastic waist pants-he'll never fiddle again! Hmmm...

Truly, I don't think words can express how much I love eating-um, this holiday. Something about gathering together and just being appreciative of what you have...and each other, is a beautiful thing. Also the feeling of being so full that you sit slumped to the side like a fat house cat= priceless.


  1. do you have any idea how much i love stuffing? i call dibs on those test runs come jan/feb.

  2. oh man!!! do you know how lovely it is you're moving here???!!! might have to make stuffing in MARCH too!!!