Monday, November 30, 2009

The Place Where I Work: My Curls Bring All the Boys to the Yard.

After a weekend where I was again humbled and astounded at my broke assedness, I was feeling rather swell this Monday morning. I guess because I got a lot of rest, deep conditioned my hair and reconnected with my Boston-now BROOKLYN homie DoubleDeuce!! She moved to my old hood-for a few years- and we had great walks n' talks. Coffee and bagels, and were joined by another mutual homie. Of course, because its me and my luck, I run into a blast from my funny past. Long story short, there was a lot of staring and me saying 'awkward' a few times.
That is pretty much a normal day for me though.
So, today I was feeling kinda nice. Decided to be 2 steps ahead of the game and NOT straighten my hair since I knew it was going to be a semi-rainy week. Am all curly- don't know if curly hair causes major spunk...or if it brings out my cheekbones a lot more because I am getting major love from dudes who have all their teeth! Shocking.
For instance today I rushed upstairs to my desk before getting my usual Starbucks because the line wayyy too long. I then went back downstairs and realized I left my wallet upstairs. Nice...and also not a problem for me because as I left to get it, a barista was making my usual and told me not to worry about it. It was free. This barista was told by Mi Amour (the dude who said he loved me) that I was cool and he did the right thing by not making me pay.
...but it was the look in their eyes that made me worry. Like would my payment be a train run on a bed of lemon loaf slices? Is the coffee worth it? Worth my dignity? Not at all, but I am not worried about it until they start seeking payment. Then I'll have to either lube up or shut up.
So, that was a good start to the day. Things got a little crazy at work because people create the unnecessary drama and don't communicate well. They also think they know it all. They may also care a lot more than I do-but I can't help that I am naturally gifted in not giving a hoot yet doing an amazing job. I've had it since I was a lil Honey. In school I would half assedly get straight A's...and then just to be balanced I would get straight C's. Yet all my teachers loved me and rooted for me. It was sweet.
Work got in the way of my good vibe a little, but I was soon pushed over the edge into FULL OUT RAGE at lunchtime.
Since it was raining I kept it chill and dined at the nearest cafe. Just me and a mindless mag. Had a zucchini and tomato quiche that was divine. Being a native New Yorker, I am always aware of my surroundings...and soon noticed 2 nerds sitting near. Both eating cheesecake and one more desperate looking than the other. Because their voices carried I was able to hear their whole conversation, when I wasn't fully concentrating on the mindless magazine.
They began with jokes about this conference they went to at MIT- okay these weren't hot nerds or the type of nerdy dude I like. The unexpected nerd. The one who makes mixtapes and will play video games with you while reciting quiotes from old Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes.
No, these dudes were NERDS. The type that don't get laid in a Judd Apatow film because they are in another film that involves locking pretty young women in a basement and filing down their bones. No fun.
I zoned out on the MIT portion of the convo, but soon perked up when I heard one of the nerds mention how he was at happy hour and was getting hit on by two women. I caught eyes with the woman sitting across from me and we both smirked. Knowing that he was doing that nerdy dude thing where they lie. When nerd 2 asked nerd 1 about how his night went with the 2 chicks, nerd 1 replied that it went nowhere fast because the chicks were 35! He said it with a vile disgust...kinda like the way I felt about the hair growing from behind his ears.
Nerd 2 was like: So? That's not old.
Nerd 1 says its wayyyy too old for reproduction. He then advised his fellow nerd brethren to WIKIPEDIA this fact that women who have kids after 35 will most likely have a kid with down syndrome and that women should should start procreating wayyy before they reach 30 and STOP at 35.
Needless to say my magazine was closed. One of the women in the area practically snarled and then left. The other women and I just shook our heads half amused and half like REALLY?? Even unattractive nerds get to hand us time stamps on when we should or shouldn't procreate. INSANITY. Before stabbing him with my plastic knife, I decided to let him live. At the rate he was going he would NEVER reproduce...unless he did so with a petri dish...so whew!

Always a pick-me-up, Drake, was being extra friendly today. By extra friendly he actually acknowledged my presence. He said 'hello'!! This is BIG. I think its the curls, but pretty soon we'll get to 'how are you' and then I'll be able to beat my 35 yr old deadline to have kids.
HOORAYYYYY!!!

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