Friday, November 20, 2009

The Place Where I Work: So far....

Week one is IN THE BAG!!!!!!
There were moments. Moments I wondered if it was too late for me. Too late for me and the rich douche bags out there. Could I be a stripper or make my way to the infamous Bunny Ranch in Vegas, and just involve myself in that lifestyle. Ton of money for little work and thought. Write as I sat in a hot bath of Clorox.
Decided I would be okay in the corporate world again, and that I only had to get up at 5AM for a few days, and then I wouldn't have to be at work till 11AM. Do you understand what a motivation that was??? Sleep is very important to me, its on the same level as eating. I need both to be the lovely wretch I am.:)
Establishing a relationship with my in-house Starbucks, ALSO helped with the slight raping of soul and sensible pumps I would be wearing. We all know that my Starbucks relationships are important!-also the fact that I have TWO Starbucks in my vicinity. One for each building. Am not LYING!!! Its like a dream- also means I'll need to establish more relationships. No doubt I can do it!

Speaking of relationships, lets talk about some of the characters I work with. I have names for only a few now because I like to take my time and really put thought into the names given. Now, B is my friend who let me know about the job opening...and B is just going to go by B. We are mostly on the same page about people except B is a lil nicer than I-shocking, right? We always hit the nail on the head with our character needless to say, its been a funny couple of days as we compare notes. I will compare B's and my work day to that of Pam Grier and her White counterpart in the classic film: Black Mama, White Mama (came out it 1972, look it up and WATCH, its pretty fantastic). We're more hilarious though.
Then there is CloseUp. She is an actresssssssssssssssssss. You know the type. If you don't, just go to a cafe` or restaurant in Midtown and just say:any actorsss around? Someone will respond, and then you just observe. They will talk n' talk. They will act ALL the time because its in their blood. They will often wonder why they are single out loud and why dudes just disappear-OKAY maybe that's just CloseUp. Oh, and you would also notice how they are OBSESSED with B who HAPPENS to be a playwright. Hmmm...
Don't get me wrong. CloseUp is pretty cool and bearable, but I knew once she mentioned a friend of HERS was starting as well, that shit was about to get REAL. REALLY REAL! CloseUp's buddy, B and I have deemed CrazyEyes because the chick has crazy.eyes! They along with the talking to herself, white lace gloves-like yeah, white.lace.gloves, and her eerie staring at ME mostly has made me deem her INSANE! Me and crazy people get along at a distance...and I found that she was staring at me because she wanted to offer me some M&M's, but instead of speaking she stared at me till I had to give in from avoiding eye contact and give her the exasperated WHAT? -was getting my learn on. All she does is hold up the bag of M&M's and I say 'no thanks'. Woah.
There are many high lites to my day. Free treats- like Oreo cookie cake- and free lunches that include asparagus, filet mignon and shrimp cervice. Yeah. I wasn't playin' when I said the place smells like c-notes and black cards. Seeing B, who I rarely see all the time is also GREAT.
House of Pain is another high lite. She is a bundle of rage and intelligence- hence HOP because she is Irish and GANGSTA, yo. HOP is pretty spectacular and will probably stab 5 people before I am there a month...she is studying to be a nurse though which shows her complexity. Rage filled with an amazing bedside manner. Drake-not the REAL ONE- the one that works at my job (dude looks like the REAL Drake, but may be a tad cuter). Drake intrigues me because he doesn't give a fuck and may have been asking peeps if they knew the title of a song-he then sang the song and would get all kinds of frustrated with people by saying they weren't musically inclined when they didn't guess correctly. One of the people he asked was CloseUp who thinks that Drake wants her pixie bod- she really is toddler sized though so I doubt it...but then again WHAT do I know?!
Anyways, CloseUp didn't know and Drake said she was wack. He didn't ask me, he just eyed me...well eyes me. He doesn't like me I don't think-not that I care, but I fear this will make me like him! Sick and sad, I know, but to me its easier that way. When guys start catching feelings, I gets stalked.....HA!-no, but seriously....

Overall though, things are cool. I am getting paid, peeps are aight, Starbucks (where I am already getting free upgrades, my charm is stupendous...okay its cuz my professional gear fulfills the whole dirty librarian fantasy...I think), free food and the countdown to the holiday party!!!! December 15th, bitches!


  1. 5am is brutal... but filets and upgrades and 11am sound worth it. so is getting to spend time with a friend!

  2. DOUBLE D, you are a NEW YAWKER...well not for 8 years, but still. you're here!!!