Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Place Where I Work: The Fear

The most interesting thing about being a temp-besides the not giving a fuck…OH and possibly getting a job or something- is the observing of various office cultures. They rarely vary with their usual cast of characters- villains, predators, sluts, playboys,skin-stealers, cool peeps who have lives outside of offce, gossips, etc..
Need to add another to that list: mastermind killers. ‘Member the other day I introduced yall to MIT-the guy who could potentially clone me?- well I think he wants to do more than that. Like he doesn’t want to live in my skin; he wants to figure me out, break me down, kill me and then clone me! Its real!
I came to this brilliant epiphany soon after MIT gave me another long meaningful stare. Most women would be pleased to have an attractive guy look at them…meaningfully, but I saw something in those eyes…murderous plans.
You see, my desk is right by one of the conference rooms and every time MIT is in a meeting, he makes sure to close the door and as he does he gives me that meaningful stare till the door cuts us off. The first time it happened I was like: OH SHIT. After the third time, I came to my epiphany.
This morning I was making copies and the machine happens to be in the pantry area. Who follows me in and asks me to help him decide what to have for breakfast?? MIT!! It was just us. The machine, the cutlery and his smooth steady voice- the voice of an evolved killer. I didn’t show my fear, but I used my Brooklyn eyes- this is when you can see behind you and the peripheral as well. Brooklynites have a natural ability to do all at once because we’re real like that.
Aside from possibly being murdered I have found a definite IN to VM’s Soho loft. I knew I had a chance when our eyeballing always ended with a smile of recognition of who could be the bigger bitch. It was always a tie because VM is GAY! Yessir. Am not surprised. Gay men LOVE me. They cannot help themselves because we are like moths to flames. Am no 'fag hag', I just have acknowledged the gay man within.- OH damn, MIT just sauntered by my desk.Anywho, its only a matter of time before VM, his partner and I are sipping mojito’s in his living room and watching film noir’s. Just a matter of time.

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